I Just Wanted To Be Loved

“I want God to come/And take me home
Cause I’m all alone/ In this crowd
Who are you to me/Who am I supposed to be
Not exactly sure anymore./Where’s this going to
Can I follow through/Or just follow you
For a while/Does anyone ever get this right?”
– ‘The Vampires of Time and Memory’, Queens of the Stone Age

And now I’m all alone.
In the dark I’m home.
My mind is gone.
As I wait for you to finally say goodbye.

I just wanted to be loved.
By anyone.
I just wanted someone to love

I would do anything
To kill this pain
That infects my brain
For what you did to me.

But I stuck around
Even when you felt down.
I gave my heart and soul
When you were low.
I tried to do anything
To help to wash away your pain
Just because I cared
I was always there
I made myself vulnerable and open for a fall.

You took advantage of me.
My sincerity.
You wiped your feet
On my bleeding heart
As I allowed you to laugh me
And totally use me.
Fucking abused me in your sick, twisted little game.

I would have done anything for you.

For you to just love me.
For just one fucking second,
For just one fucking day,
For just a moment in time for you to accept me for being this pathetic little bitch you think I am.

I just want to be loved
By anyone.
I really don’t fucking care
How bad you hurt me.

Just talk to me
Acknowledge me
Do something or just let me be.
Say something
Say anything
Fucking lie to me one more time
And tell me again you love me.

These pathetic little voices
In my fucked up mind
Are choking me like that blade
Wanting to be my friend
Laying on your perverted bed of lies
Waiting for me to end this pain
I deserve from opening up by bleeding heart to you.

You said I was cute.
You still said I was special.
You said you wanted
And needed me.
You said I was your everything between your thighs.

But it was all a lie
A fucking lie.
All of it
And you really didn’t care
About me

I just wanted to be loved.
By anyone.
I just wanted someone to love

And now I’m all alone
In the dark I’m home.
My mind is gone
As I wait for you to finally say goodbye.

This piece was originally posted on Nicole Lyons’ website, The Lithium Chronicles, in late October 2017. Thank you very much, Nicole, for this opportunity. You can check out Nicole throughout social media on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Song Lyrics: “The Vampires of Time and Memory” by Queens of the Stone Age from the album “…Like Clockwork

Photo Credit: Ian Espinosa from Unsplash.

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